


Thoughts that linger

by Vibe (lucresence)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Feelings Realization, Original Character(s), Romance, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucresence/pseuds/Vibe
Summary: As the Master Tactician Claude is a witty character among the people of the Alliance. However, sometimes he can be very dense regarding matters of the heart instead of the head, so he needs a little help from a good friend to put a finger on what exactly it is that makes his head all fuzzy.
Relationships: Claude von Riegan & Original Character(s), Claude von Riegan & Original Female Character(s), Claude von Riegan/Original Character(s), Claude von Riegan/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	Thoughts that linger

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for [Floof](https://twitter.com/Floof_n_Wool), a very good friend of mine! She created Aurore as her character and I love writing with her, so I'm happy I could write this for her! For more information about Aurore, please check out this link to her more detailed [information & biography](https://greenborealis.carrd.co).

**Thoughts that linger**

If only he had been a little faster, a mere second earlier and he would have been able to close his hands around hers. Even now his fingers were stretching further, as much as possible, reaching out as the porcelain hand was being pulled away from him, beyond his arm’s reach, while an invisible force had grabbed him instead to even increase the distance between them. He wanted to shout, to scream, to call out, yet even with his mouth wide open, silence was resting heavy on everything, weighing his voice down and drowning it out, leaving him nothing else to do but watch as she was slowly drifting away from him, deeper into the darkness that would swallow her whole because he had been too weak, too slow. His guilty heart was banging against his ribs as if it was planning its own attempt of rescue, but aside from the pain it caused, everything was futile. One last glimpse… for one last second…

Claude’s eyes were wide open, the blanket, that had only been covering half of his body after being wrestled with during his restless sleep, was shoved over to the side and his bare feet were quick to push him up out of bed. Despite the stone floor feeling cold against the soles of his feet and the air in his room being chilly against his skin, which was covered in sweat, he didn’t waste another second. A feeling deep inside of him was driving him out of his room, through the hallways and courtyards of old Garreg Mach. There was only a faint memory of his dream, yet his heart was still pounding so painfully from it. He simply had to make sure, his condition was secondary at this moment.

The door to the infirmary almost slammed against the wall, when he pulled it open in his haste. “Aurore..?!” He asked into the room with a husky voice due to the short time since his awakening. “C-Claude??” Teal waves of hair were cascading down over her shoulders as the healer turned her head over to find the reason for all of the sudden turmoil. She seemed quite concerned at his sudden appearance, but it lifted a weight from his chest. Although he had run, he noticed he had been holding his breath since he had arrived. Aurore frowned, a worried expression reflecting from within her bright eyes, as she was getting up from her chair to walk closer to him. The pages of paper on the table indicated she had still been working, although she did look tired. “What is it? An emergency? Are you hurt?” A sigh of relief emerged from deep within his chest, his body leaning against the frame of the door to grant him a moment of rest and calm his fast beating heart. “Claude, please answer me!” Ah, right… the reason why he was here. He had been determined to confirm she was there. But, now that he was thinking about it, why wouldn’t she? What reason did he have to panic as he had? How very untypical of him.

It was now that he realized how strange his appearance was looking. The proud leader of the Alliance, standing barefoot in a room in nothing but his sleepwear. A quiet “hm...” was all he was able to form as an answer for a couple of seconds, until composure seemed to finally return to him. With a sweaty hand he brushed through his hair, stroking it out of his face while sorting his thoughts to come up with a suitable response. “I’m sorry, I woke up feeling sick, but it couldn’t have been something serious. Perhaps I spent too much time with Teach in the war council and just needed some fresh air. Again, sorry if I startled you!” He was even able to conjure a convincing smile on his features, as he was presenting his lie. A moment of silence followed during which he had to endure her stern gaze and keep his farce up. “Well, I’m glad you seem to feel better,” she finally nodded, raising a hand to her chin, while her brilliant eyes were mustering him. “Still, you don’t look well, rather pale even! You should return to bed at once and rest some more.” Her comment tugged at the corners of his lips, pulling them up a bit more. “Will do, Doc!” “And next time you don’t feel so well, put on some clothes first!” “Of course, Doc!” Silence, again. Even though it was for merely a short moment, Claude felt an unusual fuzziness in his stomach, a certain uneasiness. One part inside of him told him to stay for a bit longer, and the other demanded his departure at once. Torn, he was simply standing there awkwardly for perhaps the first time in a long while. “… do you need anything else?” With her question she tilted her head to side as she always did at the rare occasion of him spacing out. Waving his hand dismissively, he shook his head, “No, I’m just sleepy. Don’t stay up too long yourself, alright?” And before anything could bind him any longer to this moment, he turned around and closed the door behind him. And yet there was little sleep that night for him, with his thoughts continuously tumbling over each other.

* * *

The following days were anything from normal. Although Claude was used to pondering a certain topic for a long period – especially secrets that were kept out of his reach – it was rather new to him that he himself was the one standing in his way to the oh-so desired treasure of knowledge. It was as if something had possessed him and was robbing him off his so precious composure. As a Master Tactician he required full control over his thoughts to detect any detail, no matter the size. And while he did notice details, they were strange in nature. At first it was so subtle, he was able to dismiss it quite easily, but with each week he struggled more and more to keep his focus where he wanted to.

The day after his strange visit at night he had decided to simply archive what had happened in his memory and not bring it up again anymore. Still, his body was unable to deny the lack of sleep his endless thinking had resulted in, revealing dark circles under his eyes, when he decided to get up and distract himself from the mystery that was tormenting him. During breakfast he had to endure Lorenz’s commentary about the importance of sleep any why a noble had to aim to be a role model blah blah – he wasn’t quite listening, to be honest, although Hilda seemed to be quite intrigued in the scene before her for some reason. Whenever Claude’s eyes linked with hers, there was this glint, this dangerous shimmer of scheme he knew quite well. But today he wasn’t in the mood for jokes and laughter. His mind was still occupied with the events of the last night. Whenever Hilda’s secretly observant eyes were piercing him too much for his liking, he would let his gaze wander about the crowd of people.

There were many familiar faces, many of the soldiers he had talked to at some point in the past. Maybe it was nitpicking, but since they all trusted him with their lives, he insisted on getting to know as many of them as possible. After all everyone had their own motivations and strengths, so it would even contribute to his considerations when planning future battles. Yet today his eyes always got stuck at a shock of long, silky hair. Even with all those people sitting around them, chatting and moving around, she was somehow standing out today. Her appearance had always been rather distinctive, already during their days as students. She was still wearing that clip, but was now letting her hair down. It had grown so much, but had kept this thick, curly texture. There was one time he had touched that curl in his past, when he had teased her a little to see that rosy flush on her cheeks. She had scolded him much longer than necessary that time, but he remembered the sensation of her locks as if he was a young boy again. Soft, almost like a wave, as it was gliding through his fingers.

“I see you have no intention of showing any manners! If that is so, I refuse to waste any more energy on this!” Lorenz’s huffing voice reminded Claude of the concept of time, however, he only beamed a sly smile at his friend in response. It hadn’t been his intention to ignore him, but right now just wasn’t the time for lectures. Maybe he should apologize later, the young Count Gloucester only had the best in mind, after all.

Now that he was back to the present, he rested his chin on a hand, while poking his breakfast with little appetite. There still was this strange feeling in his stomach, and while he definitely didn’t feel like throwing up, he was a bit wary of eating. “What’s it?” Ah, so now she had become curious, of course. “It’s nothing you need to worry about,” he answered and shot a reassuring wink into his best friend’s direction – who didn’t seem quite convinced. “You’ve got quite the bags under your eyes, did you not sleep well? And you’re spacing out a lot too. I say there’s something bothering you,” ah, where was her motivation for solving his puzzle coming from now, “and you know you can’t lie to me! Maybe you can fool others, but not me!” She didn’t seem angry with him for keeping his secrets, she never was. Despite her eccentric traits, she was a role model of a friend when there was trouble. Not that he would tell her that, though, she would only tease him about being so sentimental – which, quite frankly, would be understandable. Her pinkish eyes were almost drilling through him as if she tried to read his mind. It wouldn’t take long until she gave up on the staring contest and pushed herself back up on her feet with her empty plate in hand. “Alright, Mr Mystery, I’ll be off! You know where to go if you decide to share your thoughts with!” And with a wave of her free hand she was gone, only leaving a strange premonition in his throat.

It wasn’t much later, when Claude was leaving the mess hall to head to the Council’s Room they had been compelled to rearrange for the war council meetings. With the task ahead in mind he had finally found a proper distraction and even the fuzzy feeling from earlier had fled from his new ideas for the next battle. If only he knew how short this bliss would last…

“Claude!” It was her. Prompted by her calling out, he turned back around to greet Aurore with one of his cheerful poker-faces. This was too unlikely to be a coincidence. “Hilda told me you weren’t feeling well!” Apparently he would have to have a talk with a certain young noble woman later. “Are you still feeling sick? You look very tired…” Ah, she was furrowing her eyebrows again, she always did that when she was truly worried. She had done so last night as well… the thought of raising her concern unnecessarily somehow shoved a painful knife into his chest. A hand found its way up to his neck, rubbing it as he was offering her a casual smile. “Well, it must have been my late night walk. I had been all pumped up that I wasn’t able to fall back asleep for quite a while,” he lied, conjuring a guilty smile on his face. “Alright, but if you feel strange, promise me to visit me at the infirmary! You must take good care of yourself today!” If that’s what the Doc says, he had no reason to refuse, so he nodded like a good little boy and added, “don’t worry, I’ll sleep like an old wyvern in its nest tonight!” “You better do! Here, take this for emergencies!” When she reached out to gently take him by the wrist and place something in his hand, he could feel the cool touch of her hand against his skin. Even when they were younger and she was wearing gloves, he had been able to feel the freezing sensation of it. It made him want to take hold of her hands and warm them with his own.

Huh… how curious…

She had left him in a hurry, mostly likely she would return to her work together with the other physicians. Opening his hand revealed several small candies in funny colors. If it wasn’t for her, he would have assumed they might have been poisoned. Well, they might at least help him keep his eyes open during strategy planning with the Teach.

* * *

Claude had hoped to leave this entire distraction behind at some point, but there occasions when he found himself looking at Aurore or just thinking about her were increasing in numbers. Sometimes he caught himself staring, while thoughts were crossing his mind and crashing his usual train of thoughts. He was quite grateful for his fast reactions and strong poker-faces, which helped him ease certain situations that could have become weird otherwise. However, there were certain people even he wasn’t able to fool.

One time during the war council, Aurore had been present in order to help inform the main generals about the capabilities and capacities of the troops of healers, and once again Claude struggled remaining focused. Fortunately his opinion wasn’t required, so he was able to observe her while she was explaining. When she was talking, he could see that faint rosy shade shimmering on her lips. Was it make up or her natural color? He would really love to run a finger across those plump lips to find out, but perhaps a simple question would earn him less of a scolding. What he was looking forward to most was every time she smiled at whoever had just asked a question. Then she would squint her eyes just a little and nod, long eyelashes fluttering briefly before she would give an answer. The revision of the healing troops had taken him the entire afternoon since he – much to his surprise – wasn’t able to recall much information of that meeting even with Hilda’s help. Even Byleth had given him a strange look, although the Teach always displayed a weird expression. During the carefree days of the Academy Claude had often imitated people, including his talented Teach, which had earned him not only one, but two scoldings! First Hanneman, then Seteth, although Manuela had seemed rather amused by it. Were his faked smiles just as strange to others? What was she thinking, when he offered her such a lie?

Another time he had been watching her become all funny, when a stray cat had jumped out of the bushes and started an attempt to rub its body against her leg. Immediately Aurore had begun sneezing, as the cat was approaching her. It was similar to Hilda’s sneezing, although it had a little more force behind it. Not as much as Raphael, though. That man could wake an entire flock of pegasi with a single sneeze! Claude had picked up the cat and handed it over to a surprised Lysithea, who immediately complained that she was no cat-sitter. Aurore’s body had been arching from all the sneezes, and Lysithea had stomped off with a happily purring cat in her arms, while Claude had apologized with a chuckle.

It was in times like those that he felt so at ease and comfortable, yet excited at the same time. It was as if the war was pausing just for those precious, innocent moments, to grant them a couple of minutes of joyous pastime, something he found himself being very grateful for. Snippets of that dream were still haunting him at night, passing by his inner eye when he was waiting for sweet sleep to sweep him off his feet and carry him towards the land of dreams. If it had been a reasonable hour, he would have payed a visit every single time, just to silence the creeping feeling within his chest, that was clutching his heart tightly until it was almost bursting. Sometimes he would spend a couple of moments considering going to her room when she was off duty, but… it would have been rather inappropriate, wouldn’t it? To see someone this late, when they probably had plans and tasks to finish the next day? No, that would be irresponsible of him. So, instead, he was walking furrows into his ground, or lie in bed with his eyes battling the ceiling in a staring contest. It was unbearable, being torn between two options and just being unable to finally make a choice. Was she already asleep? Had she read one of her medical studies before cuddling into her blanket? He could see if Anna could get a hold on a pile of new researches. There had been rumors that with the archbishops absence people were even dabbling in more physical than magical studies. Aurore would certainly be interested in those… and all the other physicians too, of course. Yes, there were many people who would benefit from a larger collection of resources. That was something he had to put onto the to-do list once he had convinced Seteth of the advantages.

Or maybe he should discuss it with Aurore first to collect more arguments for it? As an expert physician both here in the infirmary and on the battlefield, she certainly could think of a couple of reasonable suggestions that were in favor of increasing the library again. A light chuckle escaped him at the thought of her face passing by his inner eye, a sparkly expression of excitement on her face and getting all lost in her process of thinking…

It were little moments like those that somehow soothed and worsened the pain in his chest at the same time. One time during the choir practice for Saint Cethleann Day he had risked a glimpse. Several spots in the choir had been filled by volunteers to offer the devout believers, who suffered under the current circumstances or even had to flee from the Empire, a bit of comfort and normality. And even though Claude was far from ‘a devour believer’, he had sneaked inside the chapel after getting wind of a certain person assisting as a supportive role. With his back leaned against the giant stone pillar, which was carrying what was left of the roof, he had crossed his arms and observed the small crowed getting into position for practice. As always, the teal waves of hair caught his attention immediately. She had taken a spot in one of the back rows and was clasping her hands together as if in a prayer. He had never actually asked if she placed her faith in the Goddess, but he knew from her frequent visits. It suited her. She seemed so fragile and innocent, exactly how you would imagine a pious believer to be. Even though she was so far in the back, hidden behind the rustling robes of the other singers, he was able to catch a good glimpse at her from his spot. It was something he had always been aware of, but it was embarrassing to admit that… something was drawing his gaze in more frequently now. Ah, if there lived a Goddess in the skies of Fódlan, she would swear like a trooper for his inappropriate thoughts…

There also was a different feeling aside from Sothis’s rage. From where he was standing it wasn’t far to her, yet the yearning was there again. It had been eating on him like Raphael on a piece of pork, shoving its poisonous teeth further into his flesh with every second he was standing there. It was such a short distance, but he still felt so far away. It was that feeling from his dream all those weeks ago, it hard burned itself into his heart. Even though the images were blurry by now, the memory of the anxiety he had experienced in that nightmare was still very vivid and unwilling to release him just yet. Standing in the shadows aside from the scene, his heart was aching, longing to wrap those arms around her and hold her close, so that nothing could take her away from him again. That dream had triggered something inside of him, a thought process he hadn’t had before. Or had he just not been aware of it? It was something new, something strange, something that piqued his interest and her was wary of at the same time. Something he still wasn’t able to place a finger on and name it. But that was alright, as long as he was able to ensure she was safe.

* * *

His feet had carried him across the hallways, allowing his mind to wander its own path and explore thoughts to flourish like a flower in full bloom. The evening sun was hanging low, almost reaching out to the long pillars of the great bridge as if it wanted to cling to the day just a bit longer. Dark shadows were drawn on the floor and the orphans were called by the nuns of the church to come inside. Arms crossed behind his back, Claude’s steps came to a halt in the middle of the bridge to witness the ending of another day. It was a sight to behold – the so strategically advantageous position of Garreg Mach had some other merits. “Look who’s here, Mr Mystery himself!” Hilda’s cheerful teasing lured a muffled chuckle out of him as he was crossing his arms behind his head, stretching his back and enjoying the last rays of light on his face. “I’m sorry, Hilda. About the last weeks, I-” “Ah, shush!” A dismissive wave of her hand cut his sentence off before he could continue. “You’re not the only person I hang out with, so don’t worry about me! Although, to be honest, I was surprised to see you this occupied with… other things.” A pair of emerald eyes met a pink one, silence echoing within the wind that was playing with the noblewoman’s long hair. Despite some not being able to look past her flaws, Hilda had always proved to be one of the few people who he trusted his life with. Ever since he had chosen his future and enrolled at the Academy she had been standing by his side. Some might consider her lazy or even worse, but even when she was terrified, she had never abandoned him. Perhaps she was his Pan in this confusing tale of mysteries? At least she had a refreshingly different view on matters, certain matters he wouldn’t mind learning from her. So even though she had silenced his apology, he was sorry for neglecting such a special friend like her during the last weeks.

“Claude?” “Hm?” “You’re really a strange man, sometimes I think I understand you, but then you do the complete opposite,” she mumbled, resting her arms on the handrail of the stone bridge. Her eyes had returned to the scenery, where the sun was sinking into the black line of the horizon far off in the distance. “I pride myself with being an enigma. A Master Tactician wouldn’t be of much use if everyone were able to figure him out, no?” Resting his arms next to hers, elbow to elbow, he glanced over at his friend. “That’s not what I mean, silly.” Hilda raised a hand to place her chin in it, a cheeky expression shining from within her irises as she was meeting his gaze. “Back then, when Edelgard declared war, you didn’t even flinch and took up arms to protect everyone! You never seem to fear a battle, rather plunging into it with that stupid smile of yours as if you could take on any fate that wants to mess with you! You’re one of the bravest people I know – and Holst is my brother, so you know that’s quite the compliment!” At the thought of her sibling, a chuckle escaped herself, and it only increased into a light giggle at the sight of Claude’s raised brow and irritated expression. Balling her gloved hand into a fist, she punched his arm playfully. “Don’t look at me like that! You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed yourself yet? Sometimes you’re astonishingly dense for your ‘Master Tactician’ title! How come you’ve even earned that?” Further confusion was spreading across his features, head tilted to the side as he was trying to bring some sense to her words.

“Claude,” she tried again, “how come you’ll jump right to action when there is a war going on, but then you’re satisfied with standing by and watching when your heart clearly tells you to step forward and actually do something? You have to become active if you want things to change, right? Then do me a favor and listen to your heart next time you feel it aching!” “Hilda-” He was about to protest, but the mighty leader of the Alliance was cut off again another time. Sheesh, he really had to pick the weirdest friends, hadn’t he? “For someone who’s so good at masking emotions, you’ve really been slacking off, Claude. It’s written all over your face, when you look at her, it’s almost embarrassing to watch!”

“Huh…” was all he was able to form as an answer. For a moment he was staring into her eyes, trying to sort her words and topics into the right categories and entwining the web of her hints, but the link was broken, when she pushed herself away from the handrail and dusted her sleeves off. “Well, I’d say that’s your good night riddle for this evening! It’s late, so don’t stay up for too long, alright?” And with a light pat on the shoulder, she left him alone on the bridge, waving only briefly as a goodnight.

It had been quite a while since Claude had been this restless that he would even sneak away with his wyvern, but how was he supposed to withstand the seduction of a secret he had been chewing on for such a long time now. And with Hilda’s words bringing fresh thoughts to his mind, he felt restless, unable to find sleep any time soon if he were forsaken the answer for another night. It was a little unfortunate the dark night sky wasn’t playing along with his little interrogation, at least it didn’t seem very impressed by his intimidating staring contest skills. Arms folded, he had been standing still, losing himself in his memory palace, searching for a possible answer. Well, less of an answer, more of puzzle pieces that were seeking each other and slowly fitting together. Tearing his eyes away from the twinkling stars embed into the sky, he exhaled a deep sigh and ruffled his hair, nodding towards his loyal mount who had been alerted by the sound. Akilah was resting all curled up in a ball, her white scales standing out against the dark meadow trees that were rustling in the wind as if they were pondering their own mystery. “As a woman,” Claude started, gesturing towards his wyvern, who only responded with a tilt of her head and a slither of her tongue across her gigantic teeth. “As a woman, you still couldn’t help me out, can you?” A big yawn emerged from the depths of Akilah’s jaws, confirming his assumption. During the last weeks he had seen her much more often, or rather, he had noticed her much more than before. She joined his life later than others and had still been by his side in trying times, although she had scolded him on a much more regular basis than anyone else – although Lorenz’s nagging was posing a serious competition at this point. It was something strange to think about, but with Hilda’s prompt he was unable to stop the stone rolling downhill, his thoughts were impossible to come to the end. It wasn’t right to say he had taken her presence for granted, but it was true that he hadn’t quite enjoyed the little thing, the details about her that made being with her so enjoyable. Another sigh escaped him as he was resting his hand against his forehead. “Hilda was right… I really am dense. Hey, you don’t have a word in this, little lady!” As if to mock him, Akilah had nodded her head, growling quietly at his complaint like a purring kitten.

Giving her thickly scaled neck a couple of pats, Claude placed his foot in one of the stirrup irons and pushed himself off the ground and up on her back, where he allowed his eyes to wander about the glittering scenery of plains resting between mountains a last time. It was a beautiful view. Truly, something to cherish. When one were to come to this place at the right time, they would be surprised with a painting only nature was capable, but enjoying it alone was rather lonely too. Perhaps he was less of a Master Tactician in love than in war, so his stomach was filled with butterflies at the mere thought of relying on nothing but intuition and listening to his heart. He was so used to only thinking and analyzing, that he had almost forgotten about paying attention to his inner voice, which he had been ignoring quite successfully for way too long. It was a simple solution, a simple decision. Relief and fear alike were flooding his chest, as his wyvern spread her wings to return home and allow him a few more hours of rest. He wanted to at least look acceptable if that could increase his chances just by a little.


End file.
